The world of a Teenager.
Teenage years is known to be a time filled with challenges, emotions and conflicts, both for the teenager and the parents. But it is also a time that can be incredibly instructive and different for everyone if you just know how to best interact and how you as parents can best support the young people in new situations.
In the transition from child to teenager and later young adult can be very general point to four key areas that everyone has to do with children / young people's development of social relationships. As a parent, it might be nice to understand the importance of these areas. Therefore, the text here describes what is happening with the youth in meeting with: Friendships, the first crush, and the first experience of loss and grief when a love relationship breaks.
Friendships is everything
In the teenage years, friendships and contacts with peers increasingly important, and therefore elected interaction with parents and other adults often benefit from their peers.
Having friends, both very close and a little more distant acquaintances are very important for teenagers. Through this they learn important social skills they will develop their own understanding, and they have the opportunity to experience such conflicts, choices and boundaries. Friendships strengthens the feeling of not being alone, to be liked and wanted.
Parents and family are no longer sufficient to teenage development and satisfaction of needs. That does not mean that parents are not still important as the stable background, you can always return to get support, care and love from them.
The teenager, who has friends and a circle is placed outside. It is not only painful but also implies a threat to youth development, with significant social skills, such as creating peers confidence, resolve conflicts, cope in their own social spaces, etc. just developed in young people's own networks. It is therefore very important that parents support their children's activities with peers and helps them develop their own social networks.
They can for example. making by encouraging the child / youth to invite friends home or to be with peers outside the home, go to sports or the like. Parents can also 'train' the child / youth to socialize with peers by making the stuff with their own friends and children.
If the child / youth is inclined to pull away from peer contact, showing anxiety or complaints of persistent lack of friends may be due to bad experiences, bullying or root problems. Talk with your child / adolescent about it and seek appropriate professional help.
So what about love?
adolescence, many young people, but not all, to orient itself towards young people of the opposite sex (or in some cases the same sex) in new ways. Twinning arrangements are still very, very important, but in addition to those arising craving for something closer, more intimate.
The young have no experience to compare their experiences and reactions. It feels like something completely different than the love they have to or receive from their parents. Love can turn upside down all at a time. Concentration fail at school, home duties forgotten, neglected girlfriend heart and interest in football or Internet café fading. Everyday chores become indifferent and any reminder can feel like annoying interference or disturbance. Such preoccupation can make the teenager very irritable - and not particularly easy to handle for others.
Some young people can talk to their parents about their boyfriends and their infatuation and confusion. But some can not or will not. It feels too intimate or private, precisely because it is the parents. Many young people are therefore left to each other in good and evil, and the experience they do.
Talk to the child / youth about what is going on, tell any of you may well remember how beautiful and difficult it was. Be available for contact, but the pressure you not to. Young people must be allowed to have something for themselves. Help and support them in their school work and in relation to other commitments, and try to be a little roomy, when the choice is between being with her boyfriend and grandmother. (There is nothing so dull as to have a teenager with the family gathering, there pouting all night and constantly be on the toilet to text on your phone) Say it like it is to grandma - this phase will not last forever!
Affectionate humor works as a rule - while ridicule can get the love teenager up in 'the red box'. Figures also never condescending about the teenager's girlfriend.
It is common for young people's love relationships do not last forever. The youngsters have yet not so much experience to build on, and they evolve in rapid pace. So when young people experience rejection and failure from her boyfriend, or the relationship breaks down it can feel like the whole world goes to pieces. Like love's beginning, everything else pales in girlfriend grief and becomes unimportant. And young people often have not yet learned that humans can tolerate a lot, and that pain can be reduced and replaced by courage and joy. When a love affair interrupted dolls loneliness feeling up - and perhaps the doubts about his own worth. Most teens, however, comes through grief and loss, turning after a time towards others and life again, and have been some experiences and scars richer.
After a broken relationship can teen in some cases linger in sadness, poor self-esteem, reluctance to schooling, social life and so on. Such a condition may progress to severe symptoms of failure to thrive, such as self-harm, suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts. These very serious symptoms typically occurs in teenagers who, before the loss of the beloved, had other and heavy things to grapple with such as serious family problems, low self-esteem, drug and alcohol problems, bullying experience or lack of confidence and stable adult and peer networks. It is important that parents generally are aware and investigating in relation to their children's wellbeing / failure to thrive, and they do not excuse failure to thrive or prolonged unhappiness as' ordinary adolescent problems. "
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