yuffie - Blog
March
23
2015

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I love my baby but i hate being pregnant

I feel you on the eating disorder.When i first got to college i was so terrified of the freshman 15 that i counted every calorie, lost a ton of weight and ended up in therapy.These days my husband is so concerned about my getting proper nutrition that he asks me what i've had for lunch or dinner and it is starting to give me a complex.I know he means well and mostly he wants me to eat more but if i have something quick or easy, like yesterday i had bagel bites, i feel so guilty that i've actually lied to him about what i've eaten which makes me feel worse.It's irrational and my brain knows that but i can't help feeling that way.I'm 15w and in maternity clothes.I had wide hips to begin with but now they are wider and it is simply not possible to wear my pre pregnancy pants without a belly band which i just don't find that comfortable.My sister went through her entire pregnancy without buying a single piece of maternity clothing because she had yoga pants and low cut jeans.I just have so many insecurities that are rushing to the surface and i have to tell myself i'm not fat, it's a baby.

I've struggled with anorexia since i was 12 and have gone to therapy for it more times than i can count.Despite the fact that i haven't acted on it in almost a year, it is a constant whisper in the back of my head and i totally understand how frustrating that is. (Especially considering that when i finally got ahold of my ed and stopped acting michael kors outlet online on it, i gained a ton.So now adding the baby weight on top of that is really scary to me. )I just keep telling myself that the weight gain is temporary and i am trying hard to eat as healthy as possible so that hopefully the only weight i gain is for the baby.I don't think that you are being stupid or selfish at all.Just keep your chin up and don't be so hard on yourself.

4.I am still wearing stilettos, pumps, platforms, wedges, etc because it makes me feel pretty michael kors online uk and i don't plan on stopping unless my balance is really that off.But considering, i did cheer and was a flier doing single legged stunt sequences while moving, i don't see that happening.

5.I get a baby!And if the rest of my pregnancy blows;Then at least i'll have had michael kors handbags uk one and won't need to do it again.

I'm having a hard time with the whole thing too!I was heavy most of my life so am really self concious.I finally got to(Almost)Where i would like to be size wise right before getting pg.My work put me on unpaid med leave already because my job involves a lot of heavy lifting and michael kors cheap store they don't want to be liable.I feel like all i do is sit home and eat and i am terrified of gaining back all the weight i struggled so hard to lose.I can't stand the thought of getting a huge pg belly and having people want to touch me.On top of that we are struggling with just my bf's income and i feel so guilty about it sometimes i just wish i hadn't gotten pg.Then i feel like a horrible person for thinking that.Ugh!Hoping things will get better!

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